Insomnia Makes Me Unproductive

I never understood how insomnia can SO negatively affect a person until I myself was plagued by it. In fact, I never thought I would ever have insomnia because for almost all my life, sleep was never a problem.

But until I became self-employed and worked from home, when my working days are full of sitting in front of the computer with very less physical movement, I started having problem getting sleep at night.

I go to bed together with my husband at usually midnight and while hubby quickly doze off to sleep, I lay wide awake until four, and later, until seven o´clock in the morning.

As the alarm clock goes on signalling it´s time to get up and prepare for the day, only then I´d feel groggy, terribly tired, and I´d sleep. I would then spend more than half of the day sleeping.

The bad effects of this are that, as I rise from bed at past noon time, I still feel tired, unhappy, uncreative, and overall unproductive. I´m already at the point when I feel frustrated. In order to combat this insomnia, I and my husband agreed to actively go back to exercising. Starting this week, we´ll go to the gym daily and we will see if this will help regulate my sleep. I´ll let you know.

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Do you have health insurance? What about car insurance?

My health insurance is from BUPA, a one year coverage renewable annually relative to my work contract. Among the fifty+ employees of this small institution where I work, I enjoy the health insurance benefits of 500baht deductible to my hospital bills every appointment. But that does not include toothache and food poison. Funny. Of course, the remaining hospital bills would be from my pocket. When I get hit by a speeding car and die before my contract expires, my beneficiaries would receive 50,000baht - although I wonder who would they be since I have not signed any paper that identifies them. Not a handsome sum, sure, but must be better than nothing. When I attended the orientation about BUPA, I was thinking "Is this patterned from other Business Insurance?"

A health insurance such as mine is an example of group health insurance rates. It is a health insurance written for all the employee, a master policy that is issued by my employer, the institution of which I am affiliated. There is a great advantage for both the institution and the insurance company when the deal is group health insurance. The institution can choose for a program to purchase, the employers can either seek for the cheapest most affordable program or seek for quotes that are most likely needed or appreciated by the employees which, of course, would cost more. On the side of the health insurance, they can check the health status of all the employees and if there is one that is at risk of expensive medications, they can charge for a higher quote which eventually is divided among all the employees. But since most of the employees are healthy, the insurance company can sit back a bit and relax. Probably, just probably, no one would get sick this year.

On the account of insurance, not only is your health the subject, of course it also includes all the important properties that you own. That as well includes your car. However, unlike health insurance where there are group rates, the young healthy worker pays a much and receives as much as the old dog with heart issues, I doubt if it applies to cars. But since in most States and European countries car insurance is obligatory, car owners must then be aware of the best Netquote business car insurance that is available in town.

photo: vaxa.com

The day I learned how much my dad loves me

I was feeling something weird on my face one day. It must have started slow without me noticing, or it could have come over night – I did not know. The left side of my face was stiff. I could not eat properly, I could not speak clearly, and when I laughed or smiled, only the right side of my face was moving. I looked so ugly. I was twelve years old.

The doctor said it was mild stroke. So many “whys” and “hows” were unanswered. The only possible cure was a therapy. The big word was “possible”. There was no guarantee that my face would come back to normal.

I decided to sit quietly inside the classroom when I was at school. I stopped raising my hand to participate in class discussions. Nobody would understand me anyway. One teacher found it very unusual for me to sit so quietly and not participate in class. He was asking quite a tough question one time and a number of classmates had given answers already but the teacher still wanted more. The question was part of the homework he gave on the other day. Then he called my name. I was very anxious to stand and speak. But the teacher was waiting. The entire class was waiting. I gathered all courage to stand and give my answer. I knew that what I had in mind would suffice to satisfy the teacher. But halfway of my speaking the entire class was laughing furiously including the teacher. Some classmates were mimicking the way I spoke. I wanted to vanish from the place.

I stopped going to school. I refused to talk to people other than my family. I stuck myself inside our house. My dad was very sad. He told me that there must be a very big reason why God allowed it to happen to me. I knew the reason why. My mom, my dad, and I knew why.

Two days before I noticed something unusual on face, there was a big fight between my mom and dad. It was Friday evening. The Sabbath has started. But instead of preparing to go to church for a divine worship, I and my mom were preparing to go to a coronation night at school where I was asked to deliver my winning declamation piece “I am an Addict”. My dad refused to allow me to go to the coronation because it was already Sabbath but my mom was supporting me with my decision to go. Despite my dad’s opposition, I and my mom went to school.

The school was extremely isolated from the village. It was a big compound with new buildings. It was positioned at the feet of the mountains on the other side of a very big river. It was the huge bridge that was connecting the school to the village. There were no residences around.

I delivered my declamation piece around midnight, after which, my mom and I immediately went home.

On the Sabbath day, Saturday, my parents and my siblings were all ready to go to church but I was still in bed. I couldn’t get up because I was feeling so weak. Both my eyes were very swollen and I could not open them. My dad said that it was the result of my prioritizing to go to the coronation instead of observing the Sabbath. I had to stay at home that Sabbath day.

On the second day after I delivered my declamation, my eyes were healed and I felt strong again. However, in replacement to the swollen eyes, my face started to feel stiff. I tried to keep it to myself because I was scared that my parents would worry so much. Yet shortly, I could not hide the stiffness of my face anymore. I had to use more body language to communicate.

My parents were very disturbed. Several of their friends advised them to find a quack doctor because they believed that my face was a work of some evil spirits. My parents simply explained to them that we don’t seek help from quack doctors. We only seek help from God. My dad believed that only God could cure my face.

When I went to bed at night, my dad was making sure that there were bibles placed on both my sides. At midnight, my mom and dad would wake me up for a midnight prayer. It was a practice that took for about a week. But unknowingly, my dad was painfully seeking help from God. He was on his knees for how many times everyday begging God to tell him what to do to cure his eldest daughter. Then one night, he had a dream. He saw a flash of light on a very dark room. The light revealed a bottle of water. In his dream my dad asked what should he do with the water? The answer was, use the water to massage the face. My dad woke up after the dream and was unable to sleep until morning.

When I woke up, my dad gave me an empty bottle and asked me to clean it and fill it with water. When I was done, I gave the bottle to him. My dad then said that we had to go inside the room. We knelt and prayed. My dad was praying. He was asking for the forgiveness of our sins. He was asking God to bless the water so that through it, my face will be back to normal. My dad’s voice went crack, then he was crying. I opened my eyes. I saw my dad with his eyes close, still praying, but the tears were just coming down his cheeks so rapidly. I never saw my dad cry. He is a very gentle but a tough guy. I was unable to close my eyes back. I was just staring at my dad in awe. At that very moment, I realized how much my dad loves me.

After the prayer, my dad massaged my face using the water from the bottle.

Later in the afternoon, when my siblings were already back from school, we were playing in our backyard. I was on top of a guava tree and was laughing to my brother’s story when I realized something has changed. I hurriedly climbed down the guava tree and ran back to the house. I took a mirror and smiled in front of it. I saw a pretty smile. Then I was laughing. Then I was shouting calling my dad. I ran to my dad’s shop which was just in front of our house announcing the good news “my face is healed!”

Right now, as I sit in front of my computer writing down this testimony, I cannot help but cry and smile while I see that girl running to her papa announcing the good news that her face was again pretty. Her dad simply hugged her and said “Thank God”.

The amazing part of blogging

I am very much thankful to rare*Jonrez, a friend whom I met through friendster, for introducing me to the world of blogging. Through her, I was encouraged to put up my own blog where I can publish all my work collectively. I had several articles published online but they were scattered in different big publishing websites which unfortunately, failed to give me enough satisfaction. But now, here in my blogs, I feel so much at home. I have something tangible I can call my own.

It was with a lot of difficulties that I started putting up my two blog sites, mostly, because of technical issues. For how many times it had caused fights between me and my hubby because of so much time I had to spend for it. But with careful explanation, I was able to earn his support and understanding. Blogging is so much fulfilling. To be able to write and express what I think and what I want without some editors declining it or telling me to revise or edit something is what I call “freedom”. It feels like writing on a diary but with an amazing number of readers out there. And every time I get some comments on my posts, I sit giggling in front of my computer checking who the one behind that comment is so I could return his time and effort. It also feels good to earn a set of loyal visitors who visit me without fail and leave some good words on my shout box. Some people can be just so nice.

Until the past two weeks, when I fell very ill, blogging has become something more than just a diary to me. The nice words that were left on my page wishing me to get well and be back were so inspiring and had helped me to recover. I don’t know much about the blogger behind the pen name that leaves me some smiles, but believe me; they can be so powerful they can touch someone at the end of the line. As Dorothy L puts it, “never underestimate the power of a kind word and a smile”. Indeed, don’t.

So to all the friends who keep visiting me on here, I thank you for your time that even on my absence, you are still dropping by. There are just so many good things and so many good people to be thank for in this world. Cheers!

Thank God I’m swine flu negative

Yes, I thank God that I’m swine flu negative; however, I’m reaping what I sowed. As you noticed, it has been six days that my site seemed to be too quiet, no new entries, no new updates. It was because I fell very sick this week. My body just couldn’t stay quiet anymore after how many months of abuse that it finally spoke before it was too late. I had a very bad cough that refused to listen to some over the counter drugs and it became so painful and stopped me from getting sleep. The cough was much subdued at day time but was coming at night like a nightmare it was completely horrible. Simultaneously, I had my period non-stop for four weeks and I was just losing a lot of blood the reason that I was feeling so weak. They all came like full blow. I had no choice but to listen and seek some medications.

I was worried when I went to the hospital – worried that I might have been infected with the Influenza virus called the swine flu. I received a false alarm that the student that I am tutoring who was ill last week was diagnosed with a swine flu. The boy was indeed having a fever and some coughing the last time I had a one-hour class with him but I did not mind it because I myself was having some cough. When I got to the hospital, the doctor sent me for a swine flu test. Some samples of saliva from the throat were taken using a long tube-like thing. I was asked to open my mouth and say “Aaarrrrrghhhhh…” to enable the nurse to scoop some saliva from inside the throat. Because the nurse was taking quite a lot of saliva, I ended up coughing and it was a little bit painful. I felt too relieve after about forty minutes of waiting, the result turned out negative.

My doctor then sent me to have a chest X-ray to see what was causing my bad coughing. I had to have an X-ray because two days earlier, I already had a doctor from the same hospital checked me and gave me medications that were not working. When I felt that the medicines were not helping and I was getting worse, I decided to book to another doctor, this time, an American. The doctor then found out through the x-ray that the veins from my heart connecting to my lungs were inflamed. He said it was “acute bronchitis”. He told me that it was a good idea that I came back immediately because shortly, the bronchitis would turn to pneumonia.

The good news was, as my doctor put it, acute bronchitis is curable. By that, I was glad. After giving me some prescriptions, he then sent me to see a gynecologist to check what was causing my prolonged menstrual period. The gynecologist sent me back to the x-ray room but this time, to have an ultra sound. The ultra sound would enable him to identify if there was anything not normal inside my uterus and ovary. I was extremely anxious to know what was wrong inside me; however, the gynecologist was unable to see the results on that day because he was scheduled to do a surgery. He asked me to instead leave my phone number so he could give me a call when he has the results. Thus, my anxiousness was extended.

Two days later, groggy with all the medicines given to arrest the bronchitis, I received a call from my gynecologist informing me that everything is normal inside, there is nothing to worry. The bleeding was caused by some hormonal change that was possibly contributed by too much stress and lack of sleep. He had some prescriptions for me to stop the bleeding and get my period back to normal.

The sad part of the story? I had to be absent from work for few days in such a very wrong timing now that we are having our final examinations. Also, a couple of doctor visits, a number of testing, x-ray, ultrasound and medicines just has gotten my whole month of tutorial income even. I lost weight and I lost my appetite.

Now, that is something worth a lesson. The phrase “Health is wealth” has been so overheard for long but came ringing back to my ears when I was confronted with illness. Too much work and lack of sleep resulting to sickness was actually not part of my “working on getting out from the rat race”.