Thank God, Burn Out Finally Hits Me!

I´m really turning into a computer geek! For a year now since I moved to Germany, my life has evolved around my laptops, my websites and my online entrepreneurship dreams. I´m very ambitious, I want my fashion blogazine to grow big, quick. I also want my marriage blog to grow into a fulfilling and active community, but boy, how much work they require?

On top of that, I also have my personal style blog that I couldn´t afford to totally abandon so after half a year of not publishing it, I just found myself crawling back to it. Then here´s my online journal, while it´s not demanding too much time, it´s page rank and traffic decreased a ton after not writing on it actively for like a year. Could you believe that I´m still launching another website? Yeah, I´m prepping for it too, the launch of Creative Fashion for Kids. That´s how ambitious I am. I want to expand my online territory.

Bu I´m happy that today, I felt very burned out. So much so that I started planning what I have to do in order to get some me-time. I decided I better sacrifice this week writing two quality articles per stay for my fashion magazine, four articles for two weeks worth of posts for my marriage blog, and some alternating posts for my personal blog, then schedule them to go live until next week. That way, I get the entire week next week having more freedom, enjoying promoting the blog by visiting other blogs, do my yoga routines here at home before I start to work, and start to deal with my overflowing stash of laundry for ironing. 

I owe myself some free time, I´ve punished her enough to to work hard so much without enjoying much of life. I´m up into this challenge and I´ll update you soon how it´s going.

How about you? How do you deal with burn out?

Photo credit: wehearit

Why my dad changed career

My dad completed a Mining Engineering degree and had worked in some big mining companies in the Philippines when I was young.

Several accidents in the mining site almost cost him his life but he was unshakable. He had witnessed several fatal bar down incidents that took the lives of many of his men in some thousands of feet below the ground.

But there was one incident which served as a turning point in his life which lead him to completely abandon his profession.

He saw some very refined sand dripping down the walls of an underground tunnel connecting the blasting and the panning department one night while on his shift. He was the Supervisor of three departments at the time. He went to report this observation to the General Manager and requested a thorough check of all the structures in those specific areas of the underground.

He believed that if ignored, another doom would come. But the General Manager dismissed his proposal on the grounds that my dad’s request would require a big budget. My dad urged his superior to do something otherwise his people would die, but the General Manager convinced him that it´s not going to happen. The next day, my dad resigned.

Quickly the company replaced my dad’s abandoned post. But not long after that, a very tragic accident happened burying the new Supervisor and the workers to death - just as my dad prophesied.

Because of the accident my dad lost interest in mining. He started to see his profession as a waiting grave. He also disliked the irregular night shifts and not being able to take a complete weekend holidays and spend time with his kids. It made him decide to change his career. From being a mining engineer, he became a self-employed business man.

photo credit: weheartit.com

Should you change your career?

Does it come to you when you feel so stressed out from your day job that you wish you’re somewhere else? I guess wishing to be somewhere doing something else is better than wishing to be someone else. So far, I’m not sure if I ever did wish the latter. My mind says “No” but my heart says “Yes”. Now I’m confused which one to believe. Of course I'm happy for having a job. Just take a look at those thousands if not millions of individuals fighting to get a job, or those who just got fired - which is thanks to recession - they’re frantic to get a new one for survival's sake. In most developing countries, and even in some developed countries, for one single vacancy, hundreds of potential applicants are queuing to get an interview. Oh, but did you know that you have a better chance of getting your target new job if you still have a job just wanting to switch company than someone who has been jobless? But come on, that’s not what I wish to talk about.

It’s just that sometime in your career you probably must have considered changing your path. It might be due to the low demand of your profession, a not competitive salary in the market, or probably simply because you’re not happy with what you do. But let’s face it. It’s definitely scary! Many people might have contemplated it, but the uncertainty and difficulty not to mention the big risk that changing a career imposes is deterrent to actually pursuing it. People can just be too scared and would opt to remain at their safe harbor.

For most times, changing a career is all about timing. For example, you probably must wait when the market gets better and you are certain that your move is not a total blind gamble. Perhaps it’s better to stay with your job right now and wait when everything is perfect. However, sometimes, the perfect time just never comes. Thus changing a career also requires a strong mindset that cannot be shaken by any obstacle. A decision carefully considered and a will that is hundred percent determined is what you need. Changing a career can be very tedious, expensive and timely. But if it’s about getting a career of heart, then it’s a worth thing to do. You would never know what lies ahead unless you throw up the sail.

photo credit: weheartit.com

How to choose an International School in Thailand

“There are numerous international schools in Thailand and in Bangkok in particular. Some of these schools are very well run and have the students’ best interest in mind. Unfortunately, they are in the minority. The majority are owned and run by private owners whose main concern is making a profit. It is very unfortunate because children’s education should be of paramount concern and profit should not be made at the cost of quality education.”

“So how do schools in Thailand become international schools? Apparently, there is a lengthy process, but in the end, it seems like those who can afford to pay for an international school are the ones who build them. So you often see rich people buying schools in an attempt to make some money. Again, the wrong motives at work.”

A well-known educator, under the alias name Mr. Messier, talked to Thailand calendar about how to choose an international school in Thailand.

I was seated in our school library one free period when my co-teacher handed me a Thai Calendar magazine urging me to read an article. The heading immediately caught my attention. And after reading the article, I couldn’t help but give a nod in approval.

Five years of working in Thailand exposed me to the educational system of the country as well as the educational objectives of most of the schools.

Mr. Messier was right in saying that the rich buy schools [either international or bilingual school] generally with profit-driven objectives. They build up a school and run it by themselves. Thus, you would not be surprised if you see a businessman ending up as a principle of his own school or someone without even any units in education running a school. In my country, for someone to be a principal of a school, regardless of its size, should have a minimum of PhD. But in Thailand, there are no clear qualifications for the said position.

For the money-making-schools, the students and parents are very powerful. The teachers are there to entertain and to baby sit with so many unwritten rules. For instance, there was an American who landed a job as a teacher in one of the most expensive schools in Bangkok. He was receiving a very handsome salary; however, he had no power to discipline his students. At one time, he was having an activity for his English class when one girl came close to him and grabbed his private part, held for a moment, laughed, and walked away. The teacher was stunned but chose to be quiet. He knew, that should he make an action regarding the behavior, the school would have to take the side of the student. Obviously, she brings in handsome dough.

Some schools fake the quality of their education by having magnificent buildings and educational equipments and therefore, collecting very expensive fees. Some schools however, undermine the necessity of advance educational equipments and materials because instead of investing the profit on the school, they use the money in buying elegant cars or other personal investments thereby pressuring the teachers to somehow make quality education out of scarce resources.

Mr. Messier held that as a parent, you can quickly determine which schools are more concerned about education than about making money. He further gave some important things to look for or questions to ask:

1. Does the school have a board of governors, which democratically votes on decisions made concerning the school? Most “for profit schools” will only have one owner making all the school’s decisions – dictatorial vs. democratic. Ask to see the names of board members. This is the single most important thing to look for in international schools anywhere in the world.

2. Is the school a non-profit school? If so, then you know that all your hard-earned salary will be going back into the school and your child’s education, not the owner’s wallet.

3. What is the length of tenure of teachers? If it is a good school, teachers will stay a long time. If not, there will be high turnover of teachers.

4. What is the percent of non-Thai students at the school? if the school is 80% Thai students or 80% of a particular race, then it is not truly an international school. It is basically an ESL school with a small minority of foreign students thrown into mix. The unfortunate result of this being that the foreign students feel like a huge minority and are often treated as such.

Furthermore, Mr. Messier advised that “you should go and take a look at the school. Don’t be fooled by nice tress and beautiful flowers. Take a look in the classrooms. Do you see a lot of resources and supplies? Are there a number of athletic facilities including an exercise room? Take a look at the cafeteria. Does it look like the students have a great of selection to choose from, or is a budget lunch being served? It is very easy to see if money is being put back to the school.”

“Also, ask other parents about the school and how they feel about it. Find out about the reputation of the school.”

“Don’t be fooled by fancy advertisements. Most top schools don’t even need to advertise. Their reputation is what they rely on.”

“A high tuition cost does not guarantee a good quality; you don’t always get what you pay for.”


Source: Thailand Calendar

Learn to be rude at times

“In order to survive a chaotic world, you’ve got to learn to be rude at times.”

How would you define rude? If we take the decoded meaning of the word “rude”, it is a state of being ill-mannered or discourteous. That, actually, is the lightest definition we can take because the word also means being undeveloped, uncivilized, unlearned, and primitive among others.

How bad is being rude? Who can be rude? Is it only the primitive and the uncivilized that can be rude? What about the people who are well-learned and well-educated? How would you react if you are met by such a person? Someone who thinks that he is above and/or better than you?

Some people believe in themselves too much. They believe that they can be someone or something because they are intelligent and able, however, they refuse to work hard, to train hard, and to devote time. In short, they just want the end but not the means. They want to be a winner but they are not willing to take the pain that comes along. This is a picture of being ambitious without passion and discipline. Sometimes, these people might be intellectually good but emotionally they are not. For example, would you make a good debater if you are good in research and memorizing but you cannot take pressures, stress and criticisms even if they are constructive? Even in the world physical sports, athletes need passion, devotion, discipline and emotional stability in order to get ahead and win. Many good athletes failed to achieve success because they lack these essential elements.

If you are a game maker, would you not demand time from your players? Would you not require their commitment, devotion and above all respect? How would you coach a player who does not show up to practices? A player who does not communicate with you and to his team mates? A player who does not respect you? Would you put him on the first line? Or would you kick him out the team? Now, what happens if he expects to be player No. 1 even if he does not practice? And what about if the parents or family members come and demand that you put their son/relative in the team as a priority player because they want him to? Worst, how about if the parents/relatives start to teach you how to coach and how to train your players when in fact they don’t know anything about the sport? Don’t you think that is totally ridiculous?

This is when the rude meets the rude.

Sometimes, you have to be rude in order to maneuver rude people. If you know what you are doing, and if you know that you are doing the right thing, you are in the right track then it does not matter if you have to be rude as long as you maintain your professionalism. A new argument comes in; “rude” is defined accordingly based on the situation. We differentiate them as the “white rude” and the ‘black rude”. You can choose which color.

In whatever you do, you cannot please everybody; therefore, focus on the common good even if it means being rude to the antagonists. You should not back down to people who underestimate you, show them what you can do.

How to defeat burn out from work?

Did you ever find yourself easily angered, depressed and uninspired at some point in your life?

Did you take a moment to evaluate what caused you these negative feelings and found that in fact, you have so many things to be thankful and be happy for? And yet, after a while of figuring out, everything points out to overworking, tiredness and lack of recreation as the root? In a layman’s term that is what we call “burnt out”.

Indeed, it comes once in a while. And recently, I found myself caught up by this situation. I lost my drive to write articles for my literary blog. I felt lazy to do my basic household chores. I go to work with a hard determination of surviving the day when actually, it used to be fun. I need to start the debate training for both my junior and senior debaters for the next debate competition which will be in less than two months, but I could not get the drive to organize anything. I get easily angered by any little things which I knew I could have ignored. And because of these feelings, even my relationship is getting affected.

But it is not a question of whether it comes or not. It is about how to defeat this negativity once it does come.

I thought that I needed something which would help me channel this negativity out. It was my fashion blog. I spent more time blogging about fashion and connecting with other fashion bloggers. It gave me a different world that could make me feel good. But then when I step back into the reality, the same feelings come back.

I confessed this conflict to my girl friends and was surprised to find that they were also feeling the same. We decided we have to make time for ourselves. We need to go out more, hang out and unwind more. Given our busy schedules, this time has to be made. The very functional all work life that we had has started eating in us and is now bearing fruit.

Thus, we dressed up and went out to unwind. We spent our night just dining out, window shopping and chatting about anything. It felt good. We went home tired but relaxed. Eventually, more hanging out are listed in the calendar.

Getting burnt out from work is inevitable, however, if it does come, you should be able to find ways to defeat it.

So how do you handle yours?

Should you date a colleague?

When you sign a contract with a company, the rules listed in the contract might consist of you not allowed to date a colleague. It is not a rule to every institution, however; there are a number that has a clear policy against dating within colleagues. Thus the question, should you date a colleague? Or why shouldn’t you?

I know, you might be thinking “well, it is not allowed as stated in the contract”. But what if the institution you joined is not prohibiting it, would you still consider it?

Here are some good things in dating a colleague.

1. You get inspired to go to work.

Going to work is no longer boring with too many stuff to do. It ceases to be a routine. You start to feel good and to always look forward to go to work. The eight hours just fly too fast and you would not mind working overtime.

2. You start to be particular on how you look.

Okay, we always make sure that we go to work well dressed, but if you date a colleague, you go beyond the simple following the dress code to putting more effort on being attractive. Hectic schedules and business does not stop you to always get a second to check in the mirror if you still have your hair in place, your tie fixed or your lipstick gone.

3. You get the drive to achieve more.

You’ll work harder to achieve more to impress the person you’re dating. You just want to show that you’ll make a perfect mate.

4. You feel that you always have an ally.

Yes, it feels good thinking that whatever happens, you’ll always have someone you can rely on within your institution or perhaps someone who can defend and protect you against any political issues that would arise [if any].

5. You are certain to find a lot of common things from each other.

It isn’t hard to find commonalities or you wouldn’t be working in the same field. And isn’t that the reason why an affair usually happens at work? Where people meet intellectually with the same interests?

However, if the dating or an affair does not turn out well, there are some good reasons you’ll find why you shouldn’t have dated a colleague in the first place.

1. Even if he’s/she’s the last person you want to see, you’ll have to stand seeing him/her everyday.

This is the sad part because in letting go, not seeing the person who broke your heart helps out the process. But if the person is a colleague, then you would have to endure that. You would have to maintain professionalism despite the broken heart.

2. If you’re the one who got dumped, the other party has a big tendency to prove to you that he/she made the right decision. That’s the biggest slap in the face. And the worst part is that he/she has all the opportunities to do it in your face.

Do I have to say more for this? Oh, it’s totally awful. But I tell what? Even if you’re initial reaction is hate the person, in the end, you will have to thank him/her for doing so. Not only has he proved that he does not deserve to have you but that had he not left you, you would not get an opportunity to find someone’s better. So go, say “thank you!”

3. Friends are put in an awkward position.

Friends wouldn’t know how to act around the two of you. They might be forced to divide or be left tagged in the middle. It simply is a break down of a good circle.

Thank God I’m swine flu negative

Yes, I thank God that I’m swine flu negative; however, I’m reaping what I sowed. As you noticed, it has been six days that my site seemed to be too quiet, no new entries, no new updates. It was because I fell very sick this week. My body just couldn’t stay quiet anymore after how many months of abuse that it finally spoke before it was too late. I had a very bad cough that refused to listen to some over the counter drugs and it became so painful and stopped me from getting sleep. The cough was much subdued at day time but was coming at night like a nightmare it was completely horrible. Simultaneously, I had my period non-stop for four weeks and I was just losing a lot of blood the reason that I was feeling so weak. They all came like full blow. I had no choice but to listen and seek some medications.

I was worried when I went to the hospital – worried that I might have been infected with the Influenza virus called the swine flu. I received a false alarm that the student that I am tutoring who was ill last week was diagnosed with a swine flu. The boy was indeed having a fever and some coughing the last time I had a one-hour class with him but I did not mind it because I myself was having some cough. When I got to the hospital, the doctor sent me for a swine flu test. Some samples of saliva from the throat were taken using a long tube-like thing. I was asked to open my mouth and say “Aaarrrrrghhhhh…” to enable the nurse to scoop some saliva from inside the throat. Because the nurse was taking quite a lot of saliva, I ended up coughing and it was a little bit painful. I felt too relieve after about forty minutes of waiting, the result turned out negative.

My doctor then sent me to have a chest X-ray to see what was causing my bad coughing. I had to have an X-ray because two days earlier, I already had a doctor from the same hospital checked me and gave me medications that were not working. When I felt that the medicines were not helping and I was getting worse, I decided to book to another doctor, this time, an American. The doctor then found out through the x-ray that the veins from my heart connecting to my lungs were inflamed. He said it was “acute bronchitis”. He told me that it was a good idea that I came back immediately because shortly, the bronchitis would turn to pneumonia.

The good news was, as my doctor put it, acute bronchitis is curable. By that, I was glad. After giving me some prescriptions, he then sent me to see a gynecologist to check what was causing my prolonged menstrual period. The gynecologist sent me back to the x-ray room but this time, to have an ultra sound. The ultra sound would enable him to identify if there was anything not normal inside my uterus and ovary. I was extremely anxious to know what was wrong inside me; however, the gynecologist was unable to see the results on that day because he was scheduled to do a surgery. He asked me to instead leave my phone number so he could give me a call when he has the results. Thus, my anxiousness was extended.

Two days later, groggy with all the medicines given to arrest the bronchitis, I received a call from my gynecologist informing me that everything is normal inside, there is nothing to worry. The bleeding was caused by some hormonal change that was possibly contributed by too much stress and lack of sleep. He had some prescriptions for me to stop the bleeding and get my period back to normal.

The sad part of the story? I had to be absent from work for few days in such a very wrong timing now that we are having our final examinations. Also, a couple of doctor visits, a number of testing, x-ray, ultrasound and medicines just has gotten my whole month of tutorial income even. I lost weight and I lost my appetite.

Now, that is something worth a lesson. The phrase “Health is wealth” has been so overheard for long but came ringing back to my ears when I was confronted with illness. Too much work and lack of sleep resulting to sickness was actually not part of my “working on getting out from the rat race”.

How to get ahead at work

You surf the net and u would see tons of articles written on how to excel at work, how to recession proof your job or how to attain a six figure salary. I have read almost all of these type of articles actually and I picked up some tips here and there that apply for me. Honestly, they did work. However, as I walk through my career for eight years now, there are some techniques that I discovered on my own which may not be new to others, but I learned and harnessed the hard way and proved effective. I believe they're worth sharing.

So how do you get ahead at work?

1. Make a way for a promising career starting from college/university.

Four or five years in the university are the best years to prepare and define a competitive and promising career. Good grades in your transcript of record are more than enough to tell how hard you work, your level of commitment and your IQ. The number and type of extra-curricular activities that you joined in the university also tells how good you are at multi-tasking and how well your sense of responsibility and initiative is. Exposure through quality extra-curricula’s will allow you to gain connections that you might need in the future when you look for a job. It will also improve your skills in public relation as well as other valuable skills such as persistence, perseverance and problem-solving, etc.

2. Keep learning.

You might be thinking that I am literally referring to Post-graduate studies? Yes I am. You know that it's a very key advantage. Of today's stiff competition at work, advance studies are strong weapons. But if situations don't allow you to earn a Masteral Degree, PhD, or even a diploma; still, keep learning. There are so many self-taught experts out there that get ahead at work because they've learned a lot of skills which others do not. Discover and learn more skills. Strengthen your key strengths and keep learning.

3. Be friendly.

A good public relation is very crucial in getting ahead at work. Be friendly to everyone and to anyone even to the lower profiles. You would not know who can give you a lift or who can destroy you later at work. Always carry a smile and try to be polite and fair to everybody. [It ain't easy, but just try.]

4. Know whom you can trust.

Not all friends at work can be trusted. Some institutions use a “divide and rule” policy to get a complete control of their employees. Some employees use a “crab mentality” to get ahead and trusting friends are the easiest preys. If you have any negative feedback against your superior or employers or to anybody, think first for how many times if you could trust the person next to you or if the issue is even worth discussing with him/her. Do not be a victim.

5. Plant some investments.

Sometimes, you have to work hard for a year or two for a useful project or activity that would benefit your institution but you are not compensated. It can be frustrating, yes, but just think that it will pay off later. When your project bears fruit, it will make you indispensable and expensive. Then, you can demand a good price.

6. Know your boss and play his game.

I’m sure you have heard of the saying “know your enemy and you can win the battle”? It also works at work. You have to know your boss and learn his game. For instance, if you have a gullible not so smart boss [don’t laugh because there certainly are some], then learn how to be angel to gullible. If you have a boss who exhausts you a lot and squeeze all your talents, don’t show all your talents at once. Show and top one talent at a time. Why? Because it might be that when all of your aces are laid today, you will be a hero just for today and is dispensed by tomorrow. But you see, it's all case to case bases. The bottom line is that you have to know how to play well in each particular environment.

7. See if it is worth getting ahead at your present work.

Sometimes, no matter what you do and how hard you try, some institutions are just not worthy of you. If you tried hard in at most two years and there are still no signs that you would get ahead, then perhaps you should start evaluating if it is better to try somewhere else. Do not be afraid to change your job.

8. Pray hard.

I’m sure you heard this proverb since you were very young? “Do your best and God will do the rest.” That’s right. Of all your hard work, don't forget to couple it with prayers. God is a very fair God.