Learn to be rude at times

“In order to survive a chaotic world, you’ve got to learn to be rude at times.”

How would you define rude? If we take the decoded meaning of the word “rude”, it is a state of being ill-mannered or discourteous. That, actually, is the lightest definition we can take because the word also means being undeveloped, uncivilized, unlearned, and primitive among others.

How bad is being rude? Who can be rude? Is it only the primitive and the uncivilized that can be rude? What about the people who are well-learned and well-educated? How would you react if you are met by such a person? Someone who thinks that he is above and/or better than you?

Some people believe in themselves too much. They believe that they can be someone or something because they are intelligent and able, however, they refuse to work hard, to train hard, and to devote time. In short, they just want the end but not the means. They want to be a winner but they are not willing to take the pain that comes along. This is a picture of being ambitious without passion and discipline. Sometimes, these people might be intellectually good but emotionally they are not. For example, would you make a good debater if you are good in research and memorizing but you cannot take pressures, stress and criticisms even if they are constructive? Even in the world physical sports, athletes need passion, devotion, discipline and emotional stability in order to get ahead and win. Many good athletes failed to achieve success because they lack these essential elements.

If you are a game maker, would you not demand time from your players? Would you not require their commitment, devotion and above all respect? How would you coach a player who does not show up to practices? A player who does not communicate with you and to his team mates? A player who does not respect you? Would you put him on the first line? Or would you kick him out the team? Now, what happens if he expects to be player No. 1 even if he does not practice? And what about if the parents or family members come and demand that you put their son/relative in the team as a priority player because they want him to? Worst, how about if the parents/relatives start to teach you how to coach and how to train your players when in fact they don’t know anything about the sport? Don’t you think that is totally ridiculous?

This is when the rude meets the rude.

Sometimes, you have to be rude in order to maneuver rude people. If you know what you are doing, and if you know that you are doing the right thing, you are in the right track then it does not matter if you have to be rude as long as you maintain your professionalism. A new argument comes in; “rude” is defined accordingly based on the situation. We differentiate them as the “white rude” and the ‘black rude”. You can choose which color.

In whatever you do, you cannot please everybody; therefore, focus on the common good even if it means being rude to the antagonists. You should not back down to people who underestimate you, show them what you can do.

Teach the teachers

I didn’t realize that it is already two years now since I found myself seated face to face with six young faces across the table trying to figure out how to produce good debaters within eight sessions, a month prior to a competition. [Read the story Giving birth to great debaters] Time flew too quickly. I saw myself once again seated across the table, but this time not as the trainer, but as the supervisor [technically]. Seeing my former junior debaters teach and coach the aspiring new members of the team, I felt very accomplished. I realized how much they have grown. I had not produced only good debaters, I had also produced good teachers.

If asked about where did I draw my motivation to go through all the pain of putting up a debating club for the school, and to bear all the exhaustion in prepping and sending teams to at least two competitions each year, and to work hard to meet the expectations of parents, teachers and employers, I am not certain. However, I can say, that it is my passion that drove me to make a difference in the lives of my young debaters. It was that passion in debating and my strong character towards a challenge that made me take the mission and do what were supposed to be done.

It is true that your passion towards what you do can be so powerful to influence and attract others to follow you. It can motivate them to set a goal. It can push them to work hard to achieve that goal.

Whenever I see my debaters take a floor and speak, it makes me smile. I smile because they serve as a mirror of me. But seeing them mentor their junior debaters is even more fulfilling. Their love on sharing what they learnt from me, coupled by what they learnt from their own experiences, is what I call, the greater passion.

Giving birth to great debaters...

It was a year ago; I was sitting beside a long table in front of six young faces. Hand outs were on their hands, reading and scanning the pages with blank expressions on their faces. Not very surprising, it was a complete zero knowledge. My plight was to produce debaters in a month’s training because the school wanted to participate in the 4th EU-Intercollegiate Tournament in Thailand, April 2008. Fraught with tears, stress and extended overtime work, I was able to shape these six young minds into their first journey in the world of debate.

I picked three boys from year 8 to make up my first team, and 2 boys and one girl from year 9 to make up the second team. Not withstanding the difficulty of the motions, of which as the youngest debaters would complain as all university terms, the team set out and prepared to debate against other participating teams from different universities and high schools. They researched and had practice debate for twelve motions out of sixteen all from six categories: Thailand issues, Environment, Asia/Middle East, European Union, Economics, and Ethics.

Came the tournament and they became the apple of the eyes of all the participants – debaters and adjudicators. Why not? They were the smallest and far way the youngest of all debaters. They debated against university teams or senior high school teams. No words could express what I felt when I saw them took a podium and debate with all their might. I knew in my heart, they will make great debaters. Adjudicators would asked them during the oral adjudication right after each debate round, “how long have you been debating and you are so amazing?” They’ll get a simple answer with a shrug, “In less than a month?”

They did not get into the final round, but it wasn’t bad. They finished 20th and 26th out of 47 teams. It was just a start.

They again entered the next competition, National High School Debate Tournament in November 2008. This time they did a lot better. Both teams broke into the breaking round. IPS1 and IPS2 both got into the octo-finals finishing 8th and 11th place out of thirty-six participating teams in the preliminary rounds. A best speaker award was won by one of my debaters from the senior team. Yet, they did not make it to the final round.

The most recent tournament that they participated is again, the 5th EU-Intercollegiate Debate Tournament in April 2009. They were much more grown up, responsible and capable this time. They had harnessed their debating style in a more professional level. It surprised me, that the organizers of the tournament where seemed to be aware of my debaters capabilities [given that these debaters had made an image and are famous in the debate society by this time] that they were matched up with well experienced university teams in the first two rounds in the preliminary on the first day of the tournament. It did not really matter anyway, they conquered both rounds on that first day and we went home in the evening all beaming with pride. On the second day of the competition, however, my second team [the youngest ones] were surprisingly teamed up with the defending champion university level from Mahidol University of which debaters are had even won best speakers awards in the previous year. My debaters stood small compared to the giant debaters. I could see the fear on their faces; but an encouraging smile from me never failed to boast their confidence and as they took the floor, they we’re very impressive that even the opponents addressed them as the best high school debaters. They lost the third round, but it was a good debate. Thus my team earned very high margins for that round.

During the break night party on the second day of the competition, we were all tensed waiting for the announcement of the results. My senior team did not break in but the junior team [the one that debated against Mahidol university] broke in really well that they finished 13th place out of 70 participating teams and broke in 3rd of all octo-finalists for high school level.

On our way back to our guest house on that second night, we were very happy and were looking forward for the third day, the octofinals. We were all consumed by excitement. My senior debaters were so darling to stay by the side of their junior debaters to help them prepare and anticipate any possible motion for the breaking round as well as give emotional support.

In the octo-final round, my debaters displayed their unquestionable skills in debating when the motion was given only 30 minutes before the round, “This house would make sex offenders choose castration as a punishment”. My team ended as government side and they had a pretty good model “a choice between castration or 5 years imprisonment plus 5 years house arrest”. They maneuvered the debate well and outsmarted the opponents in many areas. However, my team surprisingly lost the debate. Everyone in the room was shocked when the result came “the opposition won”. Even the opposition could not believe what they were hearing. And my debaters, while looking on the adjudication sheets studying the results, asked me with questions that I could not answer such as “how could the opposition third speaker, the whip, get higher score than our whip, when he totally messed up his speech and could not handle our points of information?”

The result was disheartening. My debaters went to a toilet and cried for a long time. As young as they are, not used to losing, they were completely broken hearted.

“Things at times do not come up as we want them to no matter how hard we work”. This was the morale that I had to teach on that situation. “There are reasons that we don’t understand and may seem unfair but they are part of the game. It is how we handle and accept them that make us the real victors” With a hug, I made it known to my debaters that they are the greatest debaters I’ve ever known. 