When Does One Become Qualified to Babysit?

I recently read the article Mother Arrested for Using 13-yr-old as Babysitter and just like the many readers who commented on the article, I found the thirteen year age of the girl capable of baby sitting. That, if she was taught responsibility early.

I was babysitting my siblings ages 3 1/2 and 1 yr 8 months, every weekday for like a year when I was 5 years old when our young family moved to Zamboanga del Norte. It´s an island in the Philippines where there was Muslim-Christian fights and many rebels and government military encounters.

We moved to this place when my father was hired by a municipal mayor as a private engineer to mine his land which they thought to have gold stocks. My dad was an experienced mining engineer. However, after less than a year of working for the mine site, my dad found out that it wasn´t gold but coal that the land bears. The income from the coal stock would however suffice to reimburse only the capital. So the mayor and my the mining team decided not to push through the plan. But our young family have already moved at the place. We´ve travelled for two days across the sea to be in this place and we´ve sold what we had back home.

My parents decided to put up their own business selling herbal medicines that were important from another big island, Cebu. Once the medicine stocks would arrive, my mom and dad would go house to house to canvass them and deliver. They would leave early in the morning at six and would come home late at night at around ten. Then started my ordeal.

My parents did not trust to hire anyone as babysitter because of the rampant poisoning in the place. We were instructed to not leave the house and not accept any food from strangers. My parents made me understood that there´s nobody they could trust to take care of the little ones but me. I was five years old but my parents told me I´m old enough. I had to take care of my sister who was three and a half, and my baby brother who was a little over than a year.

I did a really good job babysitting, I was forced to grow up. But up to now when my parents and I talk about my babysitting, I still cry.I was a one year of torture for me. Every morning I woke up early and as I see my parents prepping to go, I´d beg them to stay. But they´d tell me if they stay, we won´t have anything to eat.

My parent prepare our food early at dawn and they´d instruct me hat to feed to my siblings. They´d keep the knives and matches away and make sure that if we have fish for lunch, it´s free of bones. I remember they usually cooked fried eggs for our lunch. They also prepare the milk for my brother so I just had to feed him when he´s hungry.

I dreaded cleaning my brother when he pooed and I hated my little sister for being so lazy, she just wanted to play and refused to help me whenever  I needed help. But what could you expect from a three year old girl? I never learned to smile.

After a year my parents business became big and they had over ten people under their wing. My mom started staying at home every other day. My burden started to ease.

I know that my parents were always proud of me for taking responsibility at such early age but to their surprise, when I was already working and one night after dinner the topic about our life in Zamboanga was brought up for the very first time, I cried like a baby. It was a deep rooted pain from my childhood that was peeled open. My parents never had any idea how much torture the babysitting was for me.

I was able to bring out what I had buried down in my heart and memories for my parents to know. They apologized and explained their reasons. After that very emotional talk, I was able to move on. To date, I no longer cry whenever I talk about my babysitting, and I´ve learned to smile.

Who can use which middle name? The Philippines and her laws regarding the use of middle name.

I spent about two hours trying to google the laws regarding the use of middle name for a Filipino child out of wedlock. I read almost all related results that emerged but nothing has directly answered my question. What middle name should an illegitimate child use?

The use of middle names does vary from one place to another and thus laws regarding the legalities of its use vary as well. In the Philippines, the middle name is used exclusively to refer to the mother's maiden surname. For example, in the name "Juan Miguel Batumbakal dela Cruz", the name "Batumbakal", his mother's maiden surname, is his middle name. For a legitimate child, it is of everyone’s knowledge that the child automatically bears the surnames of the father and the mother; the father’s surname becomes the child’s surname and the mother’s surname becomes the child’s middle name. However, it is not of everyone’s awareness the issues regarding which middle name an illegitimate child is entitled to use. And sadly, more and more brave women found themselves confused and misguided when the day comes that they have to register their child. [I use brave to refer to women who freight not with the responsibilities of raising a child alone otherwise called single moms].

I have heard two cases of filipino single moms working abroad who, after they received the birth certificate for their babies issued by the hospital where they had the delivery, and after they had the birth certificate translated from the local language e.g. Thai into English, and they were ready to apply for their child’s passport, only then they were informed by the Philippines embassy that they had to reprocess everything. It is because the birth certificates reflect both the middle name and the surname of the mother. The embassy says that the child can only use the mother’s surname but not her middle name otherwise that would mean that they are siblings. Thus the question: How are we supposed to know? Is there anywhere we could get informed that we ought to leave the middle name for our babies blank?

As I did my research, I found that most of the Philippines legal articles related to this matter that are available online discuss about which surname should illegitimate children use but are silent about which middle name should these children use [for examples, check here and here].

I found one article however that discussed the issues and concerns in the registration of illegitimate children. And much to my interest, I found this:

IS IT ALLOWED THAT THE MIDDLE NAME OF THE CHILD MAY OR MAY NOT HAVE AN ENTRY?

The item on the middle name may or may not have an entry. However, if there is an entry may be any of the following:
1. The mother’s maiden surname, if the child is legitimate;
2. The mother’s middle name, if the child is illegitimate, was born before August 3, 1988 and was acknowledged only by the mother;
3. The mother’s middle name, if the child is illegitimate and was born on or after August 3, 1988;4. The father’s middle name, if the child is illegitimate and was acknowledged only by the father;
5. The mother’s middle name, if the child is illegitimate and neither parent acknowledged the child.
This will make a good debate. Are single parents forced by the Philippines law to leave the middle name empty or are they given a choice?

More women today realize that it is better to raise a child alone rather than being trap in a relationship that does not reciprocate everything that she needs and gives. Therefore I believe that the government should start to orient women about legal issues that would guide them in preparing for their child’s future starting from the birth certificate. More information and resources should be made available to them.

I am still not resolved about this matter. If you have any information that would be of help to this campaign, I would love to hear.

Back with renewed energy to blog

Yes, I’m back now with renewed energy after a month of idleness. My blog archive shows only four entries for the month of July. That was very idle. It was not that I felt lazy last month, but it was that I was on a vacation at my parents place in Palawan, Philippines. My parents own a retail store and adjacent to it is my sister’s whole sale store of grocery supplies and drinks. I found out when I was there that the store is very busy. I couldn’t just sit down, I had to help out. The store opens at six in the morning and closes at ten at night. After the store closes, we had to pack water to put in the big freezer for ice. It’s very in demand. After we finish preparing for everything we need for the next day, only then I could retire to the house to have a shower and prepare for bed. But if you think I immediately sleep because of tiredness, well I don’t. I had to wait for my boyfriend’s call which would be around midnight because he lives in a country that is six hours late. He could just make a call after work. Because I sleep very late everyday, I also wake up very late. But once I wake up, there are just too many things to do that the day goes too quick. It’s a blessing that we have a helper who can do the house chores. If we don’t, it would just be too hard.

So basically, that’s how I spent my vacation, working in the store. I was unable to visit around the island of Palawan or visit the friends that I planned to see. I did see some old classmates from college and high school but only because they dropped in the store. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have seen anyone.

Now I’m back in Bangkok and have all the time in the world to do what I want or what I need. I arrived on the 30th July but I was very groggy of tiredness and jet lag that I had to wait to get back my mood to blog. I woke up very late again today and felt that it’s time to start again. I feel guilty to all the good friends who keep dropping in my page but whose visits are left unreturned. But since I got my energy back now, I will always be around again to share my thoughts and to gain from others’ thoughts.