Saturday, September 4, 2010

The secret in making a relationship or marriage work


I am a strong believer of the notion that for a relationship to work, it takes great effort from both parties. The love and fire might be there, but if not nurtured, doesn't take a while to wither. Love and relationship are like a rose. You plant it, water it, cultivate it, and talk to it. It grows, it flowers, it spreads its beauty right before your eyes. But stop watering it, stop talking to it every morning when you wake up or after you arrive from work, its stems would slowly grow thin, the flowers would start to grow shy, not spreading its petals to its fullest anymore. Not long, its roots would dry. Even if its stems and flowers seem to survive, the roots are dried. Then it dies.

But sometimes you wonder why your plant dies. You water it every time, you make sure you tend to it as much you can. But why it isn't growing as healthy as you want. It remains thin, it never flowers and eventually it dies. Then you decide that maybe growing rose just isn't your forte. Maybe, some people are just blessed with rosy hands they're the only ones that can grow beautiful roses. But I agree not. It isn't about the hands, instead, it's all about the skills and techniques. Growing up with a mom who grows lots of beautiful roses of varied types and colors I learned, that roses are very sensitive. It requires care in watering and tending them. For example, in watering a rose, you should avoid applying water directly to its base. When the pressure of water moves its roots, the rose reacts to it extremely against especially if it's still young. The amount of water applied should also be considered. Is it newly planted? Is it too young still thriving to grow? and the like.

Tending a relationship or marriage is similar to tending a rose, only more complicated. As a soon to be wife, I am aware of this fact. But I am on a mission of making my relationship and soon to be marriage work. I read a lot of relationship tools and a lot of articles that unwrap the mystery of an opposite sex. I found that understanding how different a man and a woman and how their differences can actually create a stronger team instead of a chaotic double if dealt properly has lead to a happy relationship that I am enjoying right now.

The fear is still there, what happens if I wake up one morning to a mundane marital routine? But to armor myself, I am turning to books. Four books that would make me equipped to enter marriage are sleeping beside me at night. I devour them as much as I can. These books are the ones that I hunger to read and thanks to a dear friend, the blogger behind Nice Thoughts and Thrills, she has made my access to these books possible. "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" by John Gray, "Making Marriage Work" by Harold J. Sala, "A wife after God's Own Heart" by Elizabeth George, "The Act of Marriage, The Beauty of Sexual Love" by Tim&Beverly LaHaye are ones of the rare books that are written to help couples achieve a satisfying and healthy marriage based on Christian principles.

The secret in making a relationship or marriage work, aside from prayer, is orienting ones self with the complexity of love and marriage, the difference of sexes and learning how to work as a team in using these differences as an advantage for a loving and satisfying union.

photo: weheartit

3 comments:

  1. Great advice. When is your wedding?

    x Jasmine

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  2. hahaha!read it late. it's weekend and it's reading time for me. I've read just now from one of the greatest authors on success, Og Mandino, that "What we become depends on what we read after all manners of professors have done their best for us. the true university of today is a collection of books."
    wish you all, gleenn, the best in your quest for a blissful marriage.

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Thank you for your time. I'll get back to you soon. :)