Saturday, June 6, 2009

Why you shouldn’t date someone with a girlfriend?


In a strict ethics wise, there is no need to discuss why you should not date someone with a girlfriend [or boyfriend; it works both ways]. Definitely, it is not acceptable. However, even to those very people who seem to be on top of everything, situations may come that would test their ability to choose what is right and what is wrong. Such situations could be a way to understand how it feels to be on the other side of the line.

There are reasons why you should not date someone with a girlfriend.

1. You would have to stay in the shadow.

No matter what the situation may be; whether the guy’s relationship with his partner is extremely weak and is close to breaking, or even if he is already breaking up with his partner but the partner is not accepting, still, he could not expose you to everyone. He is still in the circle where people hope and pray that they would patch up.

2. He says something but he means something else.

Even if the guy says that he wants to break free from the relationship and just want to be with you, but that the girl is using emotional black mail such as jumping over the building to commit suicide to trap him in the relationship, what he really wants to say is that he cannot break free. For whatever reasons, the fact that the girlfriend still has a hold on him means that he is not sure if he really wants to be with you.

3. He meets up with you only during spare time.

If he dates or meets up with you only if his schedule allows him to, that means, that his so called “trapped relationship” is still his priority.

4. You would have to live with the comparison.

He tells you that he is falling in love with you because you have the qualities that he longs to find in a partner that his current partner does not possess. It could be the intellectual satisfaction or commonness and similarity of interests that drew him to you, however, there are also qualities that his partner possesses that you don’t. At the end, the comparison goes vice-versa.

5. You would have to live with the guilt.

Even if you win him at the end, the guilt will always come back to you. You will always be haunted by the thought that you built your happiness on someone else’s misery.

6. There would always be mistrust.

Even if the guy ultimately chooses you over his partner, you will have difficulty trusting him. There will always be issues of mistrust in your relationship. You will always be threatened by the thoughts of ‘what if he does it back to you’?

7. There would always be people who would label you as the “stealer”.

This scenario is inevitable and should be expected. It would require toughness on you to face the world and not get affected. You would have to think of the people who stood their ground, survived and are happy such as Angelina Jolie.

3 comments:

  1. This is truly a fantastic article...I would love to feature it on my website:) Let me know!

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  3. Hi D! Thank you so much for calling this article "fantastic" :) I am very honored. Yes, I would love it if you could feature this material on your website.

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Thank you for your time. I'll get back to you soon. :)